90 Days of Marriage! I must admit it does feel a bit surreal. And maybe, perhaps this post is being produced a bit too soon. Considering I’m still overly head over heels for this woman and apparently that feeling, (according to marriage pessimist), shouldn’t last throughout the duration of our union.
But the reason I waited 90 days before writing this post was to accurately gain insight into the “other side”. To fully understand this experience and all it had to offer. To see it, hear it, feel it, hold it, taste it… Ayyee!! (Wait one second I’ll be riigghht back) .......................................................................………………………………………………………………….……………………………………......................................................……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Ok, I’m back. :) #NewlywedLife
I waited this long so that I could further distance myself from the illusion of what marriage is. The rainbows, the butterflies, the dresses, the tuxedos, the terrible DJ’s. Yep, I’m talking about the wedding. Now don’t get me wrong. I Loved my wedding. Seeing my relatives, catching up with old friends, and eating cake until I nearly passed out. All great! And not to mention seeing my beautiful bride walk down the aisle toward me. No exaggeration, but that moment was like watching a literal Angel float toward me and hearing God say “I’m proud of you son, here is your prize!” What an extraordinary moment it is standing at the alter. I’m just thankful I didn’t pass out from heart palpitations. That day will live on in my memory forever. Everything we’ve dreamed of blossomed on that day and produced the sweetest of flowers. Buuuuuuut, like all flowers, their moment is very short lived. The rotted, white rose bouquet sitting on top of our bookshelf is testament to that.
When all of the glam is over and done with. When we’ve returned from a week in paradise discovering each other as husband and wife. When we’ve exhausted the thousands of dollars in Bed Bath & Beyond and Target gift cards. What we found was, that it was just us. Just me, my Wife and God. And if I can be totally honest, I was a bit disappointed. Noooo, not because of the decision I made to get married, nor that it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. That was all amazing. Disappointed in myself, because I found myself asking the question, “What now?” This is an especially difficult conundrum for me to find myself in considering I like knowing in which direction I’m moving towards. If you factor in that before getting married we listened to hours of marriage sermons via CD. Went through a total of 12 weeks of pre-marital counseling. Talked to countless married couples with boatloads of wisdom. Why in the World was I asking myself “What now?” I low key felt like I wasn't prepared! If I can compare the feeling to anything, it's like being the senior in High School. Popular, all-knowing, confidence level through the roof. And then suddenly graduating and being placed on a college campus with thousands of people who are older and more experienced. Although High School prepared me for the next phase and saw fit to promote me, I was still very much uncertain when I arrived. As too when transitioning from Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Husband/Wife.
The great thing about marriage is waking up everyday next to my best friend. Having a physical manifestation of God’s love right there next to me, roll over and say “Good Morning”. Most days your thoughts are completely overwhelmed with thoughts of her and what you can do to make her happy. I’ve also found as a man, that a new sense of pride develops after getting married. This primal instinct has suddenly switched on, where I now find myself mostly concerned about the safety of my wife and my house. Almost as if I’m waiting for the Ancient Greek army to knock on my door and declare war. And I’ll be there in my underwear, standing tall, battleaxe in hand, ready to defend my queen. (My imagination can get the better of me at times). We also are constantly finding out new things about one another. We’ve dated 5 years before I asked her to marry me. So I didn’t think there was anything new to find out. But on the contrary! She’s never been a wife before, nor I a husband. So this is a brand new experience for the both of us. Treading along this road unknown, together!
The joy and satisfaction that comes through discovery alongside your best friend is where all doubts diminish. And simply put, Fun! That disappointment I experienced early on was found to be nothing more than irrational hyperbole. Fear of wanting to get it absolutely right. But there’s a lesson to be learned in uncertainty. Happiness is created by a coupling of confessions with personal experiences. Not only does Joy thrive in our candidness, but it takes form in our vulnerability. Look, I don’t know what tomorrow may hold for my Wife and I. But I do know that she’ll be right there next to me. Encouraging me to be greater than what I am today. Uncertain but comfortable in the process; Enthralled with anticipation for the outcome. THAT’S delight. And I think that’s how God intended it to be. Marriage is Dope!
But the reason I waited 90 days before writing this post was to accurately gain insight into the “other side”. To fully understand this experience and all it had to offer. To see it, hear it, feel it, hold it, taste it… Ayyee!! (Wait one second I’ll be riigghht back) .......................................................................………………………………………………………………….……………………………………......................................................……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Ok, I’m back. :) #NewlywedLife
I waited this long so that I could further distance myself from the illusion of what marriage is. The rainbows, the butterflies, the dresses, the tuxedos, the terrible DJ’s. Yep, I’m talking about the wedding. Now don’t get me wrong. I Loved my wedding. Seeing my relatives, catching up with old friends, and eating cake until I nearly passed out. All great! And not to mention seeing my beautiful bride walk down the aisle toward me. No exaggeration, but that moment was like watching a literal Angel float toward me and hearing God say “I’m proud of you son, here is your prize!” What an extraordinary moment it is standing at the alter. I’m just thankful I didn’t pass out from heart palpitations. That day will live on in my memory forever. Everything we’ve dreamed of blossomed on that day and produced the sweetest of flowers. Buuuuuuut, like all flowers, their moment is very short lived. The rotted, white rose bouquet sitting on top of our bookshelf is testament to that.
When all of the glam is over and done with. When we’ve returned from a week in paradise discovering each other as husband and wife. When we’ve exhausted the thousands of dollars in Bed Bath & Beyond and Target gift cards. What we found was, that it was just us. Just me, my Wife and God. And if I can be totally honest, I was a bit disappointed. Noooo, not because of the decision I made to get married, nor that it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. That was all amazing. Disappointed in myself, because I found myself asking the question, “What now?” This is an especially difficult conundrum for me to find myself in considering I like knowing in which direction I’m moving towards. If you factor in that before getting married we listened to hours of marriage sermons via CD. Went through a total of 12 weeks of pre-marital counseling. Talked to countless married couples with boatloads of wisdom. Why in the World was I asking myself “What now?” I low key felt like I wasn't prepared! If I can compare the feeling to anything, it's like being the senior in High School. Popular, all-knowing, confidence level through the roof. And then suddenly graduating and being placed on a college campus with thousands of people who are older and more experienced. Although High School prepared me for the next phase and saw fit to promote me, I was still very much uncertain when I arrived. As too when transitioning from Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Husband/Wife.
The great thing about marriage is waking up everyday next to my best friend. Having a physical manifestation of God’s love right there next to me, roll over and say “Good Morning”. Most days your thoughts are completely overwhelmed with thoughts of her and what you can do to make her happy. I’ve also found as a man, that a new sense of pride develops after getting married. This primal instinct has suddenly switched on, where I now find myself mostly concerned about the safety of my wife and my house. Almost as if I’m waiting for the Ancient Greek army to knock on my door and declare war. And I’ll be there in my underwear, standing tall, battleaxe in hand, ready to defend my queen. (My imagination can get the better of me at times). We also are constantly finding out new things about one another. We’ve dated 5 years before I asked her to marry me. So I didn’t think there was anything new to find out. But on the contrary! She’s never been a wife before, nor I a husband. So this is a brand new experience for the both of us. Treading along this road unknown, together!
The joy and satisfaction that comes through discovery alongside your best friend is where all doubts diminish. And simply put, Fun! That disappointment I experienced early on was found to be nothing more than irrational hyperbole. Fear of wanting to get it absolutely right. But there’s a lesson to be learned in uncertainty. Happiness is created by a coupling of confessions with personal experiences. Not only does Joy thrive in our candidness, but it takes form in our vulnerability. Look, I don’t know what tomorrow may hold for my Wife and I. But I do know that she’ll be right there next to me. Encouraging me to be greater than what I am today. Uncertain but comfortable in the process; Enthralled with anticipation for the outcome. THAT’S delight. And I think that’s how God intended it to be. Marriage is Dope!